My imaginary life

Lately I've been finding myself staring out my living room window wondering and imagining why I'm here in the moment with everything. I daydream and fantasize way too much. I even daydream in my mind during the day.
Is this the life i want to grow Old in?  Am i ready for this?  Maybe I'm still in search of some true happiness in my life. There's always that 'Bucket List' most middle aged adults talk of. I haven't even accomplished #1-finding true love. Or may it have and I'm not sure.  It might be the biggest fear I have right now.
Giving my heart and soul to another. At any given time, in a blink of an eye, it can be wiped away. Gone forever. If it comes back, however, it was destiny. For myself , it's the thought of rejection, to not feeling that 'spark' in ones eye. I've been cheated, dumped , to having my heart thrown to the ground and run over multiple times. Yet I stand strong in hopes I'll live my little dream fairy tale out some day....