Having a broken heart ripped from you is devastating to say the least. I should know, it's happened to me so many times, I could write a story, let alone draw you pictures to show you the pain I've endured over the years. My pain of anger just doesn't lie not only being involved with that person,but as time had grown , I would accumulate things with each other in the relationship while living together. As one knows, when the other party decides to part ways, there is always that fight that begins of what belongs to who and where to draw the line. For myself, I've learned over the years that not even putting my "name" on my personal belongings meant anything. I've had my clothing taken from me by ex-boyfriend's to ex-husband's, to personal things that meant the most to me of sentimental meaning.
Why one would take someone else's other clothing is beyond me to understand still today. Let alone understand the concept of it. My rage of anger, and knowing that when the split happened, I would assume things would go smoothly for splitting personal things down the line. In the end, I would wind up going into severe panic attacks during my time of sadness, and loss. I was vulunerable as it was, and the kaos that would go through my head was just too much to take, per say. There are people out there, whom believe that when a relationship ends, they are entitled to take everything they want and leave their other half with nothing. For myself, I believe that is totally disgusting, wrong and inhumanely cruel. I do know today there are people out there that have no heart, no guilt for what they do when a relationship ends. To be greedy and take upon themselves and grab their old spouse's personal things and run is just pure inhuman and cruel in my eyes.
It has taken me years to cope with the loss each time I was dumped and left with nothing but clothing on my back to having come home and finding my personal things dumped out in the garbage or worse. Even when times were horrible during the relationship, during a move, I would still find myself in a position where I would lose things,but somehow my spouse would always have his belongings at all times. I never understood this concept and it was a frustrating thing upon me. It made me very angry to always know that the other half would sacrifice his stuff but not help out on my behalf. It told a lot about how the feelings were not there, or I was not worth their effort or time. In my eyes, and even over the years, I've learned that having my feelings not only ripped to shreds and thrown to the ground to bleed, I have had my personal belongings thrown out as well with my heart and left with the homeless and the birds to feed off. It makes me not sad, but deep inside the soul, angry, annoyed, hurt, destroyed. I as a woman, just don't fathom the concept of why people, not men in general, can be so cruel.
Today, I've learned a hard lesson. I have learned through trial and error, that one learns from their mistakes and never turns back to redo what they did wrong. Though I have yet gone through this trial and error several times now, I have learned it quite well now of learning to know that when I am in a relationship to know better. My belongings are just that, next to my heart. To have things taken from me is like being robbed or broken into my own home for that matter. Something that one wouldn't want at all. With that, it has taught me the worst possible lesson today.
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